Out of the mouths of babes oft time come gems!

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A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the little ones chests, would plug the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe, but she never got a response equal to four-year old David’s comment. Gently she tucked the stethoscope into his ears and placed the disk over his heart. “Listen”, she said………..”What do you suppose that is?” He drew his eyebrows together in a puzzled line and looked up as if lost in the mystery of the strange tap - tap - tapping deep in his chest. Then his face broke out in a wondrous grin and he asked, “Is that Jesus knocking?”

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What about you? Do you hear Jesus knocking? If so, thank him for giving you another opportunity to hear him and then let him in! Here’s another one I found rather cute too! Enjoy!

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his torch around, looking for valuables; and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you.”He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his torch off, and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a holiday after the next big job, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.” Now really nervous, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his torch beam came to rest on a parrot.

“Did you say that?” he hissed at the parrot. “Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.”

The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?” “Moses,” replied the bird. “Moses?” the burglar laughed . “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”

“The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.”

A Woman’s Version of the Night Before Christmas

T’was the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen;
I was cooking and baking and moanin and bitchin.
I’ve been here for hours, I can’t stop to rest.
This room’s a disaster, just look at this mess!

Tomorrow I’ve got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings. Who cares what I need!
My feet are both blistered, I’ve got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.

There’s a knock at the door and the telephone’s ringing;
frosting drips on the counter as the microwave’s dinging.
Two pies in the oven, dessert’s almost done;
my cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs.

I’ve had all I can stand, I can’t take anymore;
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor.
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady;
then grins as he chuckles “The eggnog is ready!”
He looks all around and with total regret, says,
“What’s taking so long….aren’t you through in here yet?”

As quick as a flash I reach for a knife;
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!
He flees from the room in terror and pain
and screams, “MY GOD WOMAN, YOU’RE GOING INSANE!!”

Now what was I doing, and what is that smell?
Oh darn, it’s the pies! They’re burned all to hell!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE.

What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, I’d rather be dead.
Lord, don’t get me wrong, I love holidays;
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed.

But I promise you one thing, If I live ’til next year,
You won’t find me pulling my hair out in here.
I’ll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter;
and if that doesn’t work, I’LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED!

While browsing some blogs this morning while waking up, I came across The Diary of a Hope Filled Mom and saw this cute elf name generator. I just had to try it out and here are my results.

My Christmas Elf Name is

Get your Christmas Elf Name

I found it rather fitting actually because my Grandmother nicknamed me Sunny Sunshine as a child and right now I’m all tummy! Yeah I’m a dork…it’s still early so stick around and you just might see a bit more dorkiness from my way!Have a great day everyone!

If you have a website, you know that in order to get anywhere you need to have people visiting your site. But, did you know you can get tons of visitors (ones who are really interested in what you have to offer) without paying a penny?

Yep, you sure can and today’s freebie will show 7 ways to do just that.

Want the report above? Just click the link here and it’s all yours.
This is a pdf file so in order to save it to your computer, simply right click the link and choose save as.

Notice in this picture how none of the lightbulbs are lit, heck they aren’t even screwed in…that would be my brain folks!

I just realized that in yesterday’s CBC post to Aurelia, I didn’t answer the question she asked me in her last post…DUH! I’m blaming it on pregnancy brain which helps to answer her question:

“How has your pregnancy been so far?”Hmm that’s a loaded question, but here’s the shortened version that basically explains how this pregnancy has been so different from my first two.1. I was showing much, much sooner than the first two. I’m assuming due to the fact that I didn’t wait almost 8 years in between pregnancies this time around AND the fact that I’m getting a bit older and well I just don’t bounce back in certain places like I did after having Zachary.

Well, not to rub it in but I WAS RIGHT!! - Aurelia’s biggest weakness when it comes to food is none other than a McDonald’s ________? Wanna know what McD’s food she just can’t get enough of and makes her giddy like a little kid every time she eats it? You’ll have to head over to her blog and find out!With Christmas fast approaching and business piling up, I’m going to make this post pretty short and sweet, but exciting none the less. This week I want to know a little about Aurelia’s Christmas holiday. I know that her birthday and her son’s birthday are pretty close to Christmas (if I remember right) so I know they have a lot going on in their house this time of year. So, here’s your question lady:

“What are some of the things you do to keep things stress free at Christmas time around your house?”

For me I have to say that my hubby is a lifesaver this time of year. He loves to do the Christmas shopping and wrapping. As a matter of fact he just said to me last night, “Well if anything were to ever happen and you weren’t around for some reason, I know I could make it through Christmas just fine!” and he is SO right!

I think I’ve maybe wrapped a handful of gifts and he’s done the rest. As for the picking out the gifts - he did the majority of that too. And I gladly obliged and let him! I gotta GOOD man!

My good friend, Nell Taliercio, aka The Telecommuting Answer Lady, has invited me to join her in a cross blog conversation. Actually she said I was her victim, but that’s ok with me!

Nell is a work at home mom too. She was once a VA herself and now runs many successful websites, including JustOnlineJobs.com and Telecommuting Answer Lady.

She’s mom to 2 little boys who are just adorable. Nell is one of those people who you like the moment you meet her, even online. I’ve known Nell for a few years (almost 3 I think) so when she asked me to participate in this CBC and share my answers to this, I happily agreed to be “victimized“.

“When did you start your VA business and why did you decide to become a VA?”I had actually been researching and thinking about starting a virtual assistant business since 2001, when my oldest son was 3 or 4 years old. For various reasons I didn’t start it then.

The idea was always in the back of my head and in 2004 I met the man of my dreams and he was thrilled that I wanted to someday be able to work from home. After a previous marriage to a man who thought I should not only fry up the bacon, but bring it home too with very little, sometimes no help from him, it was a blessing to me to finally have someone who understood just how important it was for me to not only own my own business but run it from home so I could be the one to raise my child. You can read more about my #1 reason for wanting to work from home here.

In 2005, while pregnant with my second child I started doing small side jobs as a VA, but didn’t officially open my office doors at Take5VA.com full-time until August 2006.

Now, it’s my turn to Nell so here’s your question. Inquiring minds want to know:

Was your VA business the first work at home business you had and what made you decide to close up shop and move on to owning and running other websites instead? Looking forward to hearing your answers!Be sure you follow along on Nell’s blog, especially if you’re interested in working from home because Nell has a ton of information on the subject in that brain of hers! As a matter of fact, Nell’s old forum at Mommy’s Place is where I landed my first VA project! I thank God every day that Nell had that forum because I learned more there in the few months before I got that job than I did in all the previous years combined of researching work at home jobs.