Ladies, I’m so happy about something I just couldn’t wait to tell you all!

Yesterday, I received an email from my friend, Kelly McCausey requesting prizes for a “Favorite Wahm Blog” contest she was holding on one of the sites she contributes to, Spark Plugging. I of course, was all over donating something so I logged into my Mom Masterminds account and quickly sent her a private message letting her know what I would contribute to her winners.

Never in a million years would I have guessed that this here site, They Call Me Wahmmy, would make the list of possible faves. But, guess what? WE DID!

Just a few minutes ago, after returning from helping my little sister move into her first place, feeding the baby, pulling clothes off the line, and welcoming my oldest son home from school, I received an email from Kelly that her post had been put up. So, before diving into some client work before hubby gets home, I headed over to check out all the cool blogs and vote for my favorite.

Low and behold, there we are on the list of 63! How cool is that? Thanks Kelly!

I thought I’d share in my excitement and take this opportunity to thank my partner Tricia and all of our wonderful wahmmies: Daisy, Carrie, Tracy, LaTara, Mary, LeaAnn, Tsoniki, & Shannon! Ladies, I love each and every one of you and appreciate all you do here! Mmmmwwaaaaa

By the way, if we win I’ve already decided I’ll be splitting the prizes between all our wahmmies. There’s some awesome prizes for the Top 10!

Now, if you’re interested in voting for our site or any of the other fabulous WAHM blogs on the list (we’d really love ya if you voted for us) just head over here and check out all the blogs listed and leave your vote in the comments. Voting will continue until the end of November when Kelly will tally all the votes and the winners will be announced as the Top 10 WAHM Blogs.

If you are parent to a teenager, you may have heard these awful words: “I hate you! You’re the worst mother ever!”  Some of you may be taken aback by the fact that a child would even think of saying these words to a parent; the disrespect, even thinking they could get away with speaking like that to an adult, and so on. Sad to say, in today’s society, it happens more often than not.

A friend from church recently shared with me that her son said those very words to her just the other day. He’s 13. She was so devastated that her son would think that, much less say it to her face. As you can imagine, it was during a heated discussion. She was in tears over it! Have you ever experienced this? I have, unfortunately. And as mom to 4 kids, I have on more than one occasion and by more than one of my children and it too sent me to tears.  I began doubting myself as a parent, as a mother.  I had thoughts of, “why did I ever have children? I thought they were supposed to love you eternally, without question?!”

Now, I’m not going to get into the whole thing about children must respect their parents and so on, that’s a whole ‘nother discussion! What I want to talk about here is how to deal with it.  I am no expert, I’m not a psychologist or anything like that, nor am I a counselor. I am just a mom whose dealt with some pretty bad stuff as 2 of my kids went through their teen years, and the other 2 are still going through them.

First of all, let’s talk about the emotions of teenagers and what they are going through. Especially in the early years, teen’s hormones are all over the place! My husband read one study that said that children are literally insane during their early teen years.  The frontal lobe of their brains are not fully developed yet, and they are being washed by hormones.  They are so full of emotions, highs and lows, and yet have no idea how to deal with them or even why they feel the way they do.

As my kids have grown through the years, I know they love me, and they did not mean those words spoken out of anger.  They never meant them and my two older ones have apologized to me for the way they behaved sometimes as kids.

I know when you’re in the moment, those words are devastating, but remember, if you just keep loving your children unconditionally (is that hard or what?!) and keep guiding and directing their steps, they will grow up to respect you and love you, and may possibly even apologize for saying such things to you.  They may, in fact, even wonder how or why they could have even thought such things! Who knows.  Just hang in there! I know you’re not the worst mother EVER, and you’re kids don’t hate you! They may hate that you just told them no to something they wanted or wanted to do, but they don’t hate you! Try to remember that.  I know it will be hard, especially when those words are ringing through your ears, but trust me, they don’t hate you!

We just wanted to take a minute to let you know we have two new wahmmys.   Arika and Myself are both super happy to have these two wonderful ladies join our Wahmmy team.  We love each and every memeber of our wahmmy team and love what each wahmmy brings to the table.  SO I will stop babbling and introduce our two new Wahmmys.

Mary Lutz is joined our team a couple weeks ago and is out Teen Wahmmy.  If you want to read more about Mary please visit our Meet The Wahmmies page.

Shannon Smith is our newest wahmmy and just joined out team this week.  Shannon is our Single Wahmmy.  If you want to read more about Shannon please visit out Meet the Wahmmies Page.

Again we are super happy to have Mary and Shannon Join our already amazing team of wahmmys.

Thanks Ladies for Joining us!!!

Please take a minute and welcome our new wahmmies to the team.

This last weekend was the Chosen Youth Conference. I am blessed to be a coordinator for the conference, and so my husband and I are very involved in it.  This is the 2nd year for the conference so it is still pretty new, and most attenders are from Michigan and nearby Canada.  The first year of the conference, we had several of the teens from our youth group work as volunteers for, therefore missing most of the messages, worship and concerts.  While helping, serving and volunteering for such a worthwhile cause is great for our teenagers, and we love to see it, we felt it was more important for our youth to enjoy the conference this year, so we encouraged them not to volunteer.

My daughter, who is 16, really wanted to help out, however I explained to her why it would be best that she didn’t, and she understood. I think now, looking back, it was the right decision for all of our teens. So many of them had their first real encounter with God, drew closer in their relationship with God or accepted Jesus into their hearts for the first time.  Over 300 students responded to one of the altar calls.

Since the Chosen Youth Conference last year, I’ve seen some real changes in my daughter. Some good changes.  She’s joined the youth worship team, made some good choices about dating, has taken a stand for purity, but most importantly, her attitude has changed immensely. She is calmer and a lot less mouthy! Who doesn’t want that for their teenager?!?

Not only have I seen growth in my own daughter, but I’ve seen it in our youth group as well. One girl, who is now 16 as well, used to be the one that always had tears in her eyes and was always trying to get that negative attention.  She was the one that was hanging on everyone, including boys, begging for attention. Now, a year later, she is a stronger young lady of God.  She serves in our youth ministry and in the community.  She is no longer needing that physical attention from the opposite sex or the negative attention.  She is staying out of the “drama” crowd as well.

I attribute these changes to Chosen and another youth event we attend each year called Acquire the Fire. It is much larger than Chosen and in another city.  The students love the bus ride to the venue, the stay in the hotel and the messages, music and ministry they receive at the conference.

So, in addition to weekly youth ministry, youth events like Chosen and ATF can help your teen have an encounter with God, build their relationship with God or accept him into their hearts for the very first time.

If you are having issues with your teenager (who doesn’t???) I’d like to encourage you to get your teen involved in church and youth group.  It may be a hard first step to take, but it is a very important one! There they will learn the values and morals that will help guide them through life, along with their peers.  Many of the teens in our youth ministry started coming by attending a large youth event like Chosen or ATF and then continued attending youth group on a regular basis, building their faith and becoming awesome young men and ladies that God created them to be. If your church doesn’t have a youth group, or if your youth group doesn’t attend youth events like Chosen or ATF, check out the websites, show your youth pastor or pastor the importance and value of having teens attend these events.

I often read to my five-year-old out of a devotion book for Toddlers called “Tiny Talks”. Brehane love to follow Theo, Amy, Kim, and Chip and the gang through Tiny Town and find out how they feel about God.

One of the stories we enjoy reading is about Luiz. In this story Luiz gets upset because it was rainy and muddy outside and he could not go swimming with Chip. He grumbled and complained so much that his mother finally told him that there was plenty he could do around the house. He had his toys, books, games, things to draw and color with and more; and if he really wanted to be useful, she told him he could help her with the chores.

Luiz’s mother looked at her son and told him that God wants him to be happy and strong. She explained to him that is is up to us to decide everyday to either be a shiner or a whiner.

Every time I read that story I ask Brehane if he is a shiner or whiner and then I tell him about all the ways he whines….

• Mommy AJ won’t let me play the game
• Mommy I want it now
• Mommy why can’t I watch now.
• Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!

It really woke him up. We wrote the phrase “Are your a Shiner or Whiner” on our white board once and kept it up for about 2 months and we read it everyday. Now when he hears it as he is about to throw a fit it really brings him back to reality.

Nehemiah 8: 9-12 was the bible passage the the book had me read to him. The memory verse was Nehemiah 8:10.

“And Nehemiah, who was the governor, and Ezra the priest and scribe, and the Levites who
taught the people said to all of them, This day is holy to the Lord your God; mourn not nor weep. For all the people wept when they heard the words of the Law.Then [Ezra] told them, Go your way, eat the fat, drink the sweet drink, and send portions to him for whom nothing is prepared; for this day is holy to our Lord. And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.So the Levites quieted all the people, saying, Be still, for the day is holy. And do not be grieved and sad. And all the people went their way to eat, drink, send portions, and make great rejoicing, for they had understood the words that were declared to them.”

As I think about the ministry that God had placed in my path, I think about the many whiny excuses I receive from people who refuse to understand the connect mind, body, and spirit.

• I just can’t do that
• That will be to hard for me
• What limit my meat? But my cholesterol is not that high!
• I am not a water drinker but I will drink a 6 pack of coke a day. Doesn’t that count for water?
• I just have to have bleach. What else will I disinfect with?
• God said we could eat whatever we want
• I am grown and can do whatever I want to.

Oh and the list goes on. I have even used a few of them myself. Please don’t assume I have it all together remember I am the one who has sabotaged her life with too much weight and now I am trying to get it back together. But it’s hard….OOPs there goes another excuse.

I don’t think I can do this alone…..aww man did I do it again!

Are you getting the picture?

As adults we think we have a right to say and do whatever we want when it comes to what we eat and live. Yet many of us are striving to get that spirit in order.

Such an imbalance and a selfish way of being.

You were purchased at a high cost and not just your spirit, but every part of you….THE COMPLETE YOU!

The people in Nehemiah mourned after the Law had been read to them. I wondered why because the passage never quite made it plain. But then again it did.

When you read all of Nehemiah 8 you see that the people asked Ezra to read the book of the Law. As he read it, it would appear that they began to become convicted and guilty of their sin. They mourned and shed tears at the reading of the Law because understanding had been imparted to them by Ezra.

Don’t you know that once the Word has been made alive and revelations come it brings conviction where we are wrong?

As I think daily about where I am I wonder why? I really at times do not want to go forward with this call. It is not an easy one and yet because of my love for the people God has placed in path, I continue to impart the message of Biblical health and natural way of living.

As you think about your life; what you eat, what you drink, how you live, and why, think about what you whine about when it comes to changing some of those ways so that your body get stronger and not weaker. Food really is powerful and leads to the sins of greed and gluttony if we are not careful.

It’s a hard pill to swallow. I know because I swallow it almost daily.

I did inform you that I am not perfect and struggle too, didn’t I?

I challenge you today to stop the whining and complaining about what needs to be changed. Instead know that God wants you to have joy. He is the strength you need to make it through. Leave you where it belongs - behind God’s Glory!

Are You a Shiner or a Whiner?

If you would of told me 10 years ago that I was going to be lead role in a blended family I probley would of laughed in your face and said you were crazy. SO many times you hear people talk about there other family or my mom’s husband or my dad’s wife. But do you ever hear them talk about how their parents can co exist with each other and their spouses?

Now today I would have it no other way. God threw us in a blender mixed us all up and poured a glass of Gardner Family.

Blending a family all together is a complex recipe. One that takes much patients, tons of understanding a unmeasurable amount of love, a pinch of humor and a dash of getting along with the ex’s.

If you put all those ingredients together you will come out with the most wonderful, sweet, family you could imagine.

Don’t get me wrong. It takes much work to make a blended family work. And you HAVE to love each family member as you do your own blood because in a blended family all the children involved are part of you.

Now you will hear me or actually see my type step-son and honestly you will only see it on rare occasion and that is just to let you know that I am part of a blended family. But my son is my son and I love that boy as much as I do our girls. And if anyone says different watch out because dynamite comes in small packages.

One thing my husband and myself have done to make this work is we go out to dinner with my son’s mom and her boyfriend. Or we just all go and do something together. We do this to show our son that we love everyone in his family and we can all get along. That means there is no choosing or making him choose one family or two. My son can have the best of both worlds.

So throw us in the blender, blend us all up and be prepared to see an amazing family come out.

I heard a story from one of my mentors, Kelly McCausey about cocoa. I want to share it here but I am going to tell it in my own little way.

Do you like cocoa?

I do. I love it with marshmallows and extra chocolate. I like my cocoa rich. Watered down cocoa does nothing for me.

There are some people who are funny about the cup they put the cocoa in. They want a certain cup that looks a certain way. For some that cup has to be “top of the line”. It’s as if the cup makes the cocoa. Really it’s the other way around. The cocoa makes the cup.

Now imagine that the cocoa is your life. What kind of cup would you want it in? Does it really matter? Remember the cocoa is your life. Isn’t that what you want to focus on?

The cup represents the stuff on the outside while the cocoa represents you and your life. Too many times we focus on the cup and use low grade cocoa.

That was really an eye opener for me and very inspiring. It was God confirming that I am on the right track and to keep at it.

My life is meant to be rich and will be as long as I seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness. When I do that the cups will be added unto me. But my cocoa will be so rich that all those cups won’t make a difference.

This analogy of the cocoa to your life reminded me that where I am is a good place. I am satisfied with my crooked cup with the dents. Doesn’t mean I will be this way forever, it just means that like Paul, I have learned to be content in whatever position I am in.

I have had nothing. There was a time that all I had to feed my oldest son was hot dogs and eggs. Today it’s beans and rice plus a little bit more. That was one cup.

I have had something to. There was a time when I could bring dinner home on almost a daily basis if I wanted and go into a grocery store and not have to count my pennies. This was another cup.

I know that I cannot worry about what people think about me or what they say. Sometimes we base our lives on those type of cups in exchange for weak tasting cocoa.

Really what’s the benefit.

I had to tell myself the Gifts, talents, and skills that God has given me are not to be taken lightly by me and not to be concerned with the way others take it because it is no them that I play to. I play to an audience of One and even those that look down on me in one way of the other will one day have to bow on bended knees to Him who sees it all.

He reminded me through Kelly that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no way I need to quench who He made me to be. God gave me the richness of my cocoa for reason.

I am LaTara Ham-Ying, one of God’s Chosen and you know what.. I LOVE ME! But most of all I LOVE MY LORD!

I am thankful to God for sending me that reminder through Kelly Mc Causey and when I talked to her I let her know so. You see I believe in giving people their flowers while they are alive because when they are dead how can they smell or appreciate the beauty?

I have had many cups for my cocoa but the taste of my cocoa has only become richer whether the cup was ugly or cute, my cocoa still had a sweet rich flavor with the aroma to match.

How’s your cocoa?