This past weekend I had the awesome opportunity of spending some time with just me and my 16 year old daughter. We are volunteers for the Big Ticket Festival (you should really check out this amazing Christian Music Festival if you live in Michigan or anywhere near) and had a promotional tour in Grand Rapids on Saturday. So, we seized the opportunity, spent the night, went to service at the mother church of our church and then hit the mall that was only a few blocks away. (You can read our getting lost in the big city story here.)

My dd-16 had no clue what color of dress she wanted, but she did have a style in mind; a Cinderella style that is form fitting in the bodice area and then poofy at the bottom. I was actually surprised when I heard her say this because she is not a girly-girl at all! She doesn’t do pink or anything frilly. I thought for sure as soon as she tried on the first poofy dress, she would change her mind. But, once again I was surprised.

One of the first stores we hit had a couple of dresses she really liked and one she loved, but the price was $50 over our price range. So, we decided to look around some more and if we absolutely could not find something that she loved in our price range we’d come back to this one.

We hit other stores besides prom dress stores in between and I found some great deals on jeans! One of the stores had my size jeans on the clearance rack so I decided to try them on. I LOVE them! Let me tell you how hard it is to find jeans that fit me well! I carry all my weight in my belly and have no hips and skinny legs (relatively skinny compared to my body…LOL). I usually can only find pants at one particular store and rarely have any success at any other stores. Well this store is affiliated with the store I usually get my pants at, so that explains why I was able to find some there. Anyway! I tried on these jeans and felt so sexy in them…LOL…I had to get them. They are normally $65 but were marked down to $32. I would never pay $65 for a pair of jeans and rarely pay $32, but these are so amazing I had to get them! LOL.

Back to prom dress shopping! So, as we made our way through the mall, hitting all the stores WE wanted to hit (as opposed to shopping with hubby and other children) we found other great deals on shoes and tops! The same store I found some nice tank tops in was also the one dd-16 found her prom dress in.

After looking through the sea of rainbow colored dresses, she found a black one, Cinderella style, but layered with lace and netting. I was also surprised she chose lace since it’s very girly and frilly! But, she did and she LOVES it! As soon as she tried it on, the first words out of her mouth were, “I LoVe this dress!” She even said she wanted to sleep in it! LOL.

We carried the bags we had to the car, including her dress and emptied our arms. I decided I didn’t need to carry my purse all around with my debit card in my back pocket so I unloaded that and my coat. I figured I could take the cold for a 30 second walk to the mall and back. We went back in the mall and finished hitting all the stores WE wanted, just in time before the mall closed (6:00 on Sunday).

After a long day of shopping and facing a 3 1/2 hour drive home, we needed to eat some dinner, so we hit a cute little pub near the mall. Our feet and legs (and my hips) were so tired and achy from all the walking! We relaxed, had a GREAT meal and even better conversation!

We talked about sex! We started by talking about what was talked about at youth group the previous Wednesday. A fellow youth leader and I lead the girls in talking about sex while the boys were in a different room. One of the things I had said on Wednesday was the best way to avoid temptation was to stay out of the situation. So, if you intend, plan and desire being a virgin on your wedding night, you should not be alone with boys. Of course I got some rebuttle on this because most people think they can get into tempting situations and not be tempted. DD-16 told me during our dinner that she thought that was dumb. So, I went on to explain: It’s like an alcoholic-if you are an alcoholic you cannot go to a bar or you will most likely start drinking again. If you’re a drug addict trying to stop-you cannot be around others who are doing drugs or you will be tempted to do them yourself. If you are trying to stay pure or get your purity back, you can’t be in situations where you will be tempted to allow things to go to far. When you are alone with a boy and you start making out, most likely one thing will lead to another and before you know it you’ve gone too far.

I know, I know. I’ve heard the arguments! “Well I can be alone with a boy and not go too far”. IF you know that FOR a FACT, then awesome!!! And this is one of the things we talked about. DD-16 said she knows her boundaries and she can’t imagine doing some of the things she’s heard her friends talk about…hands and mouths in certain areas…we will just leave it at that…she thinks its totally gross and no boy is going to even begin to touch her in certain areas!

But, the reality of it is that most people THINK they can be self-controlled before they actually KNOW if they are or not. So, I say, don’t test (or tempt) the waters. If your hearts desire is to remain pure until marriage, simply don’t be alone in a house or car with the opposite sex.

So, how do you go about this? Well, make sure you always go in large groups or with family. This is basically called courting. I told DD-16 that she could go to dinner with her boyfriend but they have to come straight home and then they can hang out with us. She understood and I think she actually likes that I’m helping her remain pure.

So, what are your thoughts on dating and purity? Do you think boys and girls should be allowed to be alone on dates or at each others homes? How do you help your teen remain pure?

I guess that’s a little off topic, so back to our trip. After we ate, we left the pub and headed home. DD-16 talked about 1/2 of the drive home to her boyfriend and her convo with him kept me awake. She told him all the times we got lost (see full story here) so he had something to laugh about which made me laugh.

Then when she got off the phone we turned on some music and sang at the top of our lungs to “Overcame” by Desperation Band! The whole trip home we didn’t even have to stop to use the restroom! That is amazing, especially for me!

So to sum it up, Prom Dress $150, Hotel $90, Time Spent with 16 year old daughter – Priceless!